Today, The Mum was home again with Middle and Youngest and The Dad went to get Oldest from Grandma's house. I went to Oxfam to spend a nice relaxing day in my giant closet. I mean, it's like someone else's closet, since most of the clothes are 2 sizes 2 small for me, but still. I really like being there, everyone that volunteers there is so friendly and weirdly appreciative of any work I do. I even found a couple of things for myself!
But when I came home in the evening, I was feeling a little bit detached and lonely. I've been having trouble getting to sleep at night because my mind fills with worry and my heart pounds in my chest as if it's trying to escape. I've tried deep breathing and it helps a little bit. I think I'm so anxious because I'm still a bit awkward and uneasy about what exactly I should be doing in the house at any given time… whether I'm doing things properly or whether The Mum and The Dad are happy with me as their au pair… and as I mentioned before, I'm a little homesick. It's hard not being able to talk to all the people I love at home whenever I want. The people I used to talk to about my day are far away and I don't feel close enough with any of my new friends to unload on them. I know that it will just take time… and I'm not homesick often, so I'll be okay. But right now, I can't wait to come home for Christmas!
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