Working.

I have been finding it very difficult this week to come up with a blog post. It's not that nothing interesting is happening in my life, or that I have no time to dedicate to writing… I've just been feeling a lack of inspiration.

Granted, I've been pretty tired this week. I've been doing some freelance work at a local studio and it's been 9-5. It's been good— I've got to see what working in a real studio is like. I've been helping to create some great pieces for real-life, actual clients! I have been getting tips and tricks from the pros I work with! It's been very good for my development as a designer, I do believe.

But it's also been challenging, sometimes a little frustrating, and honestly, it's been a real wake-up call. I mean, I am completely exhausted when I get home in the evening— and I sit at a computer all day! In the evenings, all I want to do is chat to my friends and family or veg out on the couch. My eyes are too tired to read and my wrists are starting to feel the effects of repetitive clicking (I've been trying to remember one of my professors' anti-carpal tunnel exercises). I haven't played my guitar all week, I haven't attempted to knit anything and I haven't had a chance to sit down and work on my as-yet untitled, based-on-a-true-story writing project. After four days of full-time work, I look ahead to a bleak future where only the weekends break up days and days of monotony.   I know, I know… I'm a whiner. I finally got myself a bit of work—in my creative field, too— and here I am complaining that I have no time to myself. Just last week, I was thinking I had too much time to myself. I guess it doesn't help that my design skills are a little rusty and I work at a snail's pace.

I know that my endurance will improve, as will my technical expertise and my speedy speed (practice makes perfect, right?) and I will soon find that my evenings stretch on and I'll be able to enjoy yoga classes, coffee dates and long telephone calls. My body will adjust to waking up with the sun and I will fall back into my comfortable position as a 'morning person'. It will get better.

Or… who knows? Maybe I'll *shudder* try the au pair thing again— this time with less children and more money. Maybe I'll backpack my way around the world, washing dishes and working in hostels. Maybe I'll become a missionary and teach children in developing countries about Jesus. Maybe I'll get a job in Starbucks and devote my spare time to writing novels and short stories about my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. There are so many possibilities.

But for now, I am a designer. And for now, a designer I must be.